Featured link: "I Am Buying A Pro Sports Franchise", by Sherman Dorn. Based on Tom Paxton's "I Am Changing My Name To Chrysler."
Programs! Getchyer programs here!
The Twins organization has announced its
"You'll pay for our new stadium," they say.
"Enact new legislation with a large appropriation.
If you don't give us this - we'll go away."
So pitch in a penny for Pohlad!Let's all show our admiration for this grand collaboration.
We surely don't want to let him down.
We'll send it to any poor Pohlad,
Who can't afford to keep his team in town.
There's greenbacks galore for Carl Pohlad!It is Arne's proclamation there'll be state participation.
We'll help him build a place for baseball games.
A few million more for Carl Pohlad,
And they can have a roof in case it rains.
So should we be paying Carl Pohlad,It is now our inclination to decline this invitation,
As blackmail is now the nation's game?
The Twins'll be straying from Pohlad,
And we'll remember he's the one to blame.
We won't give one cent to Carl Pohlad!
It's a matter of principle (and cost.)
Before our money's sent to Carl Pohlad,
We'd far rather that the Twins be lost, lost, lost,
We'd far rather that the Twins be lost.
|Pohlad||The Minnesota Twins are one of the few remaining pro baseball teams owned by a family rather than a corporation. Carl Pohlad is the patriarch of that family. A few years ago he became a local hero by buying the team. How times change.|
One of several threatened drop-dead dates. Pohlad signed an agreement
to sell the team with a provision that if the state legislature passed
a stadium funding bill by November 30 the deal was off.|
Update: another conditional sale agreement depended on passage of a 2 November 1999 city sales tax referendum. Voters rejected it.
|a roof in case it rains||One complaint about the current stadium was that it has a permanant roof. Several versions of the proposed new stadium would have had a retractable roof. Variations of those designs omitted the roof to lower the price -- at least at first. The current stadium was built without air conditioning. That was changed by the second season.|
|Arne||Arne Carlson, sports fan and former Minnesota governor, supported building a new stadium.|
|special session||A special session of the legislature was called by Governor Carlson. It was to pass a stadium funding bill. It didn't.|
|taxpayer aggrivation||Legislators reported more mail and phone calls -- even the occasional unsolicited song -- on this topic than any other controversy in memory.|
|straying from Pohlad||At first I had "straying with Pohlad" here, but that's wrong. Carl Pohlad has been trying to sell the franchise.|
|quarter of a $Bil||The price tag for the state portion of a new stadium typically ran around $250 million.|
|lost, lost, lost||The sale fell through. It turns out the public in their proposed new home didn't want to pay for a new stadium either.|
Sherman Dorn's I Am Buying a Pro Sports Franchise
My The Teddy Bears' Dane Geld, Kippling's poem -- slightly recast.